It's a hell of a thing killing a man

I paced around my room in worried steps. It was one of those rare moments when I saw cushions and papers strewn around the room but didn’t fidget to put them back in place. A restlessness surged in my heart and overpowered all the compulsive instincts. Once again I looked at the papers that detailed my next move. I hated such crossroads. More than a crossroad, right now it felt like walking on a tight rope, I was doomed to fall on either side. I sat on the floor and hid my face in my hands, as if that would hide me from the trouble that lingered in the air. I heard the door of my room open and was relieved to see Zahir. 

“I can’t do it” I threw my hands in the air in surrender, “I can’t kill Jay”